Lets laugh
Pyare Puttar, I am in a well here and hoping you are also in a well there. I'm writing this letter slowly, because I know you cannot read fast. We don't live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the Newspaper that most accidents happen 20 miles from home, so we moved 20miles. I won't be able to send the address as the last Sardar who stayed here took the house numbers with them for their new house so they would not have to change their address. Hopefully by next week we will be able to take our earlier address plate here, and that our address will remain same too. This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine, situated right above the toilet I'm not sure it works too well. Last week I put in 3 shirts, pulled the chain and haven't seen them since. The weather here isn't too bad. It rained only twice last week. The First time it rained for 3 days and second time for 4 days. The coat You wanted me to send you, your Aunt said it would be a little too Heavy to send in the mail with all the metal buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pocket. Your father has another job. He has 500 men under him. He is cutting the grass at the cemetery. By the way I took Bahu to our club's poolside. The manager is Badmash. He told her that two piece swimming suit is not allowed in his club. We were confused as to which piece should we remove? Your sister had a baby this morning. I haven't found out whether it is a girl or a boy, so I don't know whether you are an Aunt or Uncle. Your uncle, Jetinder fell in the nearby well. Some men tried to pull him out, but he fought them off bravely and drowned. We cremated him and he burned for three days. Your best friend, Balwinder, is no more. He died trying to fulfill his father's last wishes. His father had wished to be buried in the sea after he died. And your friend died while in the process of digging a grave for his father. There isn't much more news this time. Nothing much has happened. Wanted to write longer but the envelope is already sealed. Live long Your dear mother Jaswanto
:D
I donno whether the below will make u laugh but I think is funny:::
Once a focker met a focker in the focking train. Then the focker said to a focker that focking is my game. Then the focker focked the focker in the focking train.
Dave works hard at the plant and spends most evenings bowling or playing basketball at the gym. His wife thinks he is pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday she takes him to a local strip club. The doorman at the club greets them and says, "Hey, Dave! How ya doin?" His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before.
"Oh no," says Dave. "He's on my bowling team." When they are seated, a waitress asks Dave if he'd like his usual and brings over a Budweiser. His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says, "How did she know that you drink Budweiser?" She's in the Ladies' Bowling League, honey. We share lanes with them." A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around Dave, starts to rub herself all over him and says "Hi Davey. Want your usual table dance, big boy?" Dave's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club. Dave follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her.
Dave tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken him for someone else, but his wife is having none of it. She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, calling him every 4 letter word in the book. The cabby turns around and says, "Geez Dave, you picked up a real bitch this time".
Sid and Al are Jews and were sitting in a Chinese restaurant.
Sid asked Al, "Are there any Jews in China?" "I don't know," Sid replied. "Why don't we ask our Chinese waiter?"
When the waiter came by, Al asked him, "Are there any Chinese Jews?" Waiter said "I don't know sir, let me ask," and he went into the kitchen.
He returned in a few minutes and said, "No, sir. No Chinese Jews." "Are you sure?" Al asked. "I will check again, sir." replied the waiter, then went back to the kitchen.
While he was still gone, Sid said, "I cannot believe there are no Jews in China, Our people are scattered everywhere."
When he returned Al said, "Sir, no Chinese Jews." "Are you really sure?" Al asked again. "I cannot believe there are no Chinese Jews."
Exasperated, the waiter frantically said "Sir, I ask everyone! We have orange jews, cranberries jews, tomato jews and grape jews, but no one ever hear of Chinese jews!"
English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant or ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
> English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.
> We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
> And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?
> If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it
seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend, that you comb through annals of history but not a single annal?
> If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? Why profession like doctor and lawyer is "practice"?
> If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
> In what language do people recite at a ply and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?
> How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? How can overlook and oversee be opposites, while quite a lot and quite a few are
alike? How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another?
> Have you noticed that we talk about certain things only when they are absent?
> Have you ever seen a horseful carriage or a strapful gown? Met a sung hero or experienced requited love? Have you ever run into someone who was combobulated, gruntled, ruly or peccable?
> And where are all those people who ARE spring chickens or who would ACTUALLY hurt a fly?
> You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on.
> English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race (which, of course, isn't a race at all). That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it.
Your best friend, Balwinder, is no more. He died trying to fulfill his father's last wishes. His father had wished to be buried in the sea after he died. And your friend died while in the process of digging a grave for his father.
This part is sad though.